


your mother was a hamster & your father smelt of radishes

by ikeaphobia



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: I don't know, Other, for my fellow silly moomoos ❤
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:58:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeaphobia/pseuds/ikeaphobia
Summary: In which Moonbyul is president and there is mischief afoot!





	your mother was a hamster & your father smelt of radishes

Snuffling and snorting, the president awoke with a start at a loud cheer that made her windows shudder. She groaned. Those journalists always did want their news early. If they never slept she wouldn't be surprised. She sat up in her fluffy bed and peered through her window to see hands and camera flashes lighting up her window panes. How did they get past all the laser beams? Again? The president made a mental note to send a complaint to her security staff. Maybe fire a few of those blockheads. That’ll show ‘em.

Clawing at her desk blindly she put on her glasses to take a better look at the rude intruders. One reporter seemed to hold out a…radish? Some of the people were wearing masks that looked like serial killers with an affinity for vegetables. Dear god. What were those people called again? If they were a protest group, she had completely forgotten both their vendetta and group name.

She turned up her nose with a pompous (and somewhat terrified) face and turned away through her door closing the blinds with a swift wave of her claw. Already breathing heavily, she clomped down the hallway. She noticed a few interns farther down who were laughing and holding large stacks of folders and important files. Hearing small, angry footsteps they turned to see the president and one seemed to break into a cold sweat. They all bowed to the president while back-shuffling to retreat into the bathroom. The door was heavily swinging to a shut but a soft touch of a man stopped it from slamming and making a loud sound.

The president was not known for her mercy. Her crabbiness and knack for her rapid speech against those who dared question her leadership had characterized her run as Chief of State thus far. Her cabinet was in shreds (literally) due to the difficulty her fellow cabinet members had getting along with her. Some had even quit. Honestly, getting replacements was getting tiresome at this point.

She reached the end of the hallway and the president sneezed as she stepped into her office. So dusty, she thought. Where was that cleaner he had hired? Oh, wait…fired. Oops. She shook her fluffy white hair in disdain. The ruckus of the reporters and paparazzi had dulled to a fairly quiet buzz. In spite of that she reached for her phone to call her Head of Security because these invasions had gone on for too long.  
The woman in charge of security was known for her knack of changing her appearance with ease, facial expressions, disguises and all. The president had seen her talent when she hired the security guard. Despite her cranky attitude, she had a soft spot for her strange body guard. How could she resist that puppy face?

Only seconds after the president had rung her, a silent figure appeared in the doorway. The floor creaked, “You rang, ma’am?” she asked in a honey voice. Her face was blank but her words were light. The duality could be disturbing at times. She was known to be extremely professional when on duty. It was always alarming to see her change in a blink of an eye when office hours had ended. Her impressions of a excited young girlfriend's morning call to her unlucky boyfriend often caused the president to roll around the office uncontrollably laughing. She was the one who had tried to bring peace to her raucous meetings that only accomplished one thing only. Cowering interns, huffing cabinet heads, and one particular bodyguard side eyeing the situation with seeming indifference.

The president knew she should improve. She even practiced every day in the mirror to practice agreeable faces that wouldn't flare up to fire someone on the spot. One time as an attempt to lessen her stress, her body guard had put together a dance routine for both of them to practice. Suits, canes, and booming music had greeted her in the office one day catching her completely off guard. The security head turned up the boom box and had broken it down with extremely professional dance moves but also protecting the president in impressive body guard rolls and punches aimed at invisible enemies. Despite it's intriguing promise for a public performance they had decided the next day that perhaps it was best suited for a private Youtube channel.

Back in the noisy present, the president only nodded and gestured to the windows that were being lit up with flashing camera bulbs and shadows of masked figures.

“Ah yes, the fans do like to get rowdy this time of day. I could hear their fanchant from my office. Just humor them, will you?” She smiled wanely, “And I almost forgot to mention, you are moving for the summer with a student. She’s the class clown but is very responsible. I am sure she will take good care of you.”

 

 

The hamster snorted at her owner.

 

 

Two days later the small, blonde fluffy hamster found her cage being transported into some sort of car.  
Kidnapped!  
Had her time finally come?

She ran back and forth to her windows smacking the wires looking for a weak spot. Damn. These ruffians were good. Her eyes were drawn upward to see a small figure who was holding the cage. The president stood up to fold her arms and was about to make a very heated squeak. The car came to a jolt and the president fell out of her dignified pose. What was this! Assassins were getting younger every day, she thought. The girl’s smile still hadn’t dimmed even as they descended into a darkened basement. She skipped around her mother who sat down the cage on the couch. Her mom ruffled her hair and handed her a small treat. The little girl eagerly unlatched the cage and reached inside with a gentle hand holding the treat.

"Hi Byul-ie! My name's Yongsun. I know you're a little grumpy but I'm going to take good care of you!" She frowned for a second at the hamster who seemed to be eyeing her in disgust, "Oh, do you want a different name? I've got a whole list! I can't believe the class named you President Hamster. You poor little guy." The girl continued to babble along and Moonbyul found her opening to escape.

The hamster raised one final salute to her mother country and aimed for her young owner's hand.

*CHOMP!*

**Author's Note:**

> Did you expect the plot twist?? Haha yeah... This was a story I originally wrote about my hamster, (President Hamster) who I took home over the summer in third grade. Wheein makes a really good bodyguard, though. I might continue this story for fun so know that the storyline here will be seen from two perspectives - Byul's belief that she is in fact a president (and kidnapped!) and Yongsun's just trying to take care of a grumpy hamster :)


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